Guinea Pig
by Moonlite Knight
Summary: Artemis needs someone to test his latest experiment on and discovers why Holly is not the best candidate for the job.


_**Points to Note: Experimentation with a different writing style. If it's awkward, please tell me.**_

_Disclaimer: Own Artemis Fowl? Who, me? Do I look like Eoin Colfer or something? You had better not say yes, I am a GIRL. (_

**Guinea Pig**

"Well, that's unexpected," Artemis Fowl said to himself, holding his right hand up into the light and staring at it intently. "Unexpected, but not entirely uninteresting."

This was not what he had been aiming to achieve when he started on the project several weeks earlier, but this unforeseen development was quite fascinating. He twisted the small ring that he had put on pinky slightly, so that he could continue his observations from a different perceptive.

The ring was quite small and dainty, even with abnormally slim fingers it would only fit on Artemis's pinky. It was not of the type of jewelry that one would usually find Artemis, or any self respecting boy for that matter, wearing, but one must make sacrifices for the sake of science. And just as long as no one came in and saw him wearing it, Artemis was willing to make this small sacrifice. And then lock up the memory in the darkest corners of his mind and pretend it didn't exist.

The ring itself was not at all unpleasant to look at. With its slim band of tiny rhinestone flowers of a multitude of colors, and the tiny red jewel set in the center of each flower, one would almost say it was _cute._ But the young genius was not one to go around labeling things as _cute_, not even whilst observing puppies, so he studied ring from an entirely scientific point of view.

To the world, the ring was simply a piece of elegant, and expensive, jewelry. There was no hint of it being anything else, which suited the boy genius just fine. Only he knew exactly what secrets that glittery, innocent band held, and he planned to keep it that way, for the moment at least.

_Perfect, _Artemis thought, a plan forming in his mind. He slipped the ring off and placed it delicately onto the desk. A small smile graced his lips as he recalled that Holly had said she would be dropping by for a visit later on during the day. Just a few more adjustments to the ring and then it would be ready.

_This shall be fun._

*~~ͽͼ~~*

Getting the ring to Holly was a rather facile task. Artemis knew full well that she would never accept it from as it would be entirely out of character for him to offer her anything, without a reason, let alone a ring. She was bound to be suspicious, and with good reason. Predicating all of that, Artemis simply made a copy of the ring, this one free of any 'tinkering', and handed them both over to Juliet. Then he simply 'suggested' that it would be a good idea to give one, the one in her right hand, to Holly. As a sort of a sign of their friendship.

Poor Juliet stood no chance against his manipulating.

The slightly confused wrestler slash bodyguard left the room, clutching both rings and wondering how she was supposed to get the ring to Holly. The genius smirked and settled down behind his desk, satisfied that his plan was underway. Perfect.

The bodyguard, who was watched the entire proceeding in silence, finally spoke. "Artemis?"

"Yes Butler?"

"Wasn't that…?" he trailed off, uncertainly.

A pleased smile graced the young genius's lips. "Yes, it was."

"…"

"…"

"Do I want to ask what it does?"

"Probably not." Artemis admitted.

Butler sighed wearily. "You do realize Holly is going to kill you for this later, don't you?"

"What's life without a few risks? Besides, I needed a test subject, and who better fit for that role than a friend?"

Butler's lip twitched. "She's still going to kill you."

"And that's why I have you, to protect me from her wrath."

"I won't stop her, you brought this upon yourself."

"…it's nice to know you can always count on your friends to watch your back."

Butler snorted in amusement. "Friends don't watch the other's back if it means missing out on a very amusing show."

"…can't argue with that."

*~~ͽͼ~~*

Artemis estimated that he had a little less than twenty four hours before Holly traced the ring back to him. He spent his remaining time alive hacking into various security systems and watching the havoc that the ring unleashed around a greatly bewildered fairy.

The Mudboy was deeply amused.

*~~ͽͼ~~*

The storm arrived right on time.

Artemis was ready. He coolly leaned his elbows on his desk, resting his chin on his folded hands as he waited. He kept his eyes trained on the door, anticipating the storm's arrival. He didn't have to wait long.

"Artemis!" Was the first thing Holly said when she burst into the room. The second was, "What is the meaning of this?"

"The meaning of life?" Artemis asked, a smirk playing at the corner of lips. He raised a slim eyebrow as he calmly observed his highly irritated friend. "I apologize, Holly, but I have yet to discover the answer to that age old question. I shall be sure to inform you once I do, however."

Holly ignored the smirking genius in favor of shoving her ring clad hand in his face.

"This!" She all but snarled in his face. "What is this? I can't get it off! And it keeps shocking people!"

Leaning back, Artemis widened his eyes a fraction. The amused glint in his eyes vanished as he, in a surprisingly timid voice, replied, "It's a symbol of our undying love of course. Don't you remember?"

"…don't make me mesmer the truth out of you, Mudboy."

The glint was back full force. "How did you know I was lying?"

"I didn't," Holly admitted reluctantly, a pink tint coloring her cheeks. "I was just hoping you were."

Artemis smirked, fighting down his own blush. "Rest assured, that was simply in jest."

"You know, I liked you better before you discovered the joys of having a sense of humor, warped as yours is."

"Most seem to have the same opinion."

An awkward silence followed, in which both of the occupants of the room tried their best to avoid the others gaze without making it too obvious. The task was a lot harder than it sounds. The silence most likely would have lasted much longer, if Artemis, being the gentlemen that he was, had not decided to remind Holly of her previous grievance.

"Was there a reason for your bursting into my study without as much as a hello?"

A gentleman indeed.

The gentleman watched with interest as Holly bristled.

"_Yes_." She snapped, with a glare and a fruitless tug at the ring. "Why. Won't. This. Come. Off."

Artemis smirked and answered. "Actually, I'm not too sure about that. It came off my finger just fine. Next question?"

Holly decided to ignore that jibe in favor of addressing her biggest concern. "Why in Frond's name does it keep _shocking_ everyone I touch?"

"Only males."

"What?" Holly asked, thrown by the odd response.

"It only shocks the males," Artemis explained, with the air of a parent regrinding a child. "You did not notice?"

He could tell from the clenching of her fists that she hadn't.

"Why?" she demanded, purposely not answering the question.

"It has to do with testosterones and electricity generating through wool and air." He said, carelessly waving a hand as though to dismiss the vagueness of his explanation. "I can explain in greater detail if you like."

Holly did not want an explanation about the fine points of science, though it seemed. "I don't care, Artemis. Just take it off."

Artemis pasted an unconcerned expression on his face. "Perhaps after a few tests I will be able to—"

"What do you mean after a few tests?" She interrupted with another tug at the ring.

"I mean," Artemis said a bit testily. "That I need to conduct a few tests to get it off."

Holly was not pleased. "You made this thing. You should know how to get it off."

"That's why I had Juliet give the ring to you. To see what would happen."

"You used me to test out this thing?" Holly's widened as she processed this piece of information.

"Yes." Artemis said simply.

Holly was silent for a moment.

"You said it shocks only males?" she said finally. She grinned unexpectedly when he nodded. "Fine."

She took a step forward.

The smile faded from Artemis's face as he realized exactly what it was that Holly meant to do. Oh damn, how could he have not foreseen this?

"W-wait a minute Holly," he said, closing some of his composure at the way she stalked up to him. Anyone would worry if Holly walked up to them with that sort of expression. "I'm sure we can reach some sort of agreement—"

The words were lost in his throat when his hand was grabbed in a viselike grip.

Holly Short was nobody's guinea pig.

**FIN**


End file.
